As most of my friends are finishing their freshman year of college by studying for finals I am sitting in bed at my parent’s house trying to write it all out.
Every time I sit down to write I get overwhelmed and I am not sure where to begin. Bear with me…
May of 2013 I graduated high school + the world as I knew it came crashing down around me. I stepped into this new thing called college after 6 weeks spent in Moldova.
Man, college was hard. SO many changes + adjustments. Not only to classes but to social structures. For once I wasn’t known. I blended into the crowd. That’s what got me in trouble.
To LSU I was just a number. Another face walking down free speech alley. 1/900 in MATH 1431. Nothing special.
Even in smaller settings, like Refuge, I was 1/400. Just another new freshman.
So I took my new-found freedom + ran with it. I ran fast + hard away from Christ.
No one knew me. I wasn’t living at home. I could do whatever I want.
So I did.
I fell hard. November 19, 2013 I fell asleep at the wheel and ran off I-10 into a ditch.
That woke me up.
“You are lucky to be alive” I was told.
Well, I didn’t really feel that way.
I was so tired of college + just hard stuff.
I was tired of running away from Christ + towards anything that would satisfy temporarily.
Thank you Jesus for all-sufficient grace.
The prodigal daughter returned home.
Second semester comes after a month long recovery from a serious concussion + sprained ankle + overall pain.
It was hard to follow Christ again.
I fell into a serious depression. For a week I could barely drag myself to class.
That’s when I sought help.
If I took a medical leave of absence I could work on myself to become healthier + not mess up my GPA any more than I already had.
I could also work full-time to save up money for the next semester.
So that is what I did. TOPS luckily accepted my medical leave + I can keep my scholarship for when I return in the fall.
This period of growth has been hard with good + bad times.
Right now is one of those hard times.
When you throw a dating relationship into the mix of life it just adds a new element of good + bad.
I am thankful for this experience where I can grow + learn.
I am thankful for the help I have received through counseling + discipleship.
I am thankful for Christ’s goodness + never-ending grace.
I trust He loves me + knows what is best for me.